It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
