you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
