Having a random hookup so left but love u
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
