but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
