If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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