What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
