omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Dear god my vagina.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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