Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
