we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
