I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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