I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
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