maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
