stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
