***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
im about as happy as oj after his trial
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
she peed on how many people?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
