She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
