Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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