she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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