Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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