do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
