when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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