nut hugger
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
