we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
