No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
