i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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