Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
