what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
