but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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