okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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