Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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