I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
from now on my penis is your penis
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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