Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
