I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
