just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
