I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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