I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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