You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
