Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
