I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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