I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
