how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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