After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
