I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize