Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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