like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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