I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
