so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
