SEEEEXXX PLEASE
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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