in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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