im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
