So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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