his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
