What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
